Morning Star

2008-08-11T10:58:00.001+08:00

I'm leaving it all behind.
Goodbye past.

Hello new start...
http://a-lastserenade.livejournal.com/

Fuck this shit...

2008-08-10T17:35:00.004+08:00

Story telling:-

I know... ...
She has jumped into that deep deep well at her own cost
and now she is paying the price trying so hard to climb out of it
but there's just no way she can get out of that pool of crap.

I guess... ...
The best thing she can do is to walk away from it to end such uncessary misery.
She's hurting inside, I know.
She doesn't want the story the end this way and I know it too...
But at the end of the day,
there is nothing that can help her feel better other then leave the situation- I hope...

I understand... ...
That she wants this bad and she salvages this.
But the other side of the story is different.
His perception of life and the things happening in the surrounding is different.

She is angry.
With herself.
And with him

She feels that things are never going her way, ever once
And she realises that life's screwed up.

She feels used...
That everything only sparked because of 'the Wants' and 'the Needs'
She realised that self centered character.
She strongly sense the selfishness.

But I guess... ...
He is not completely to be blamed

She face much more obstacles and life experiences
while...
He basically recieved showers of love his whole life by his kins

She wants to make things simple
and
She just wanna make things right.
She tried having him to understand..
But he cant get it right as he refused to listen with his stubborn character.
His head and his ears are blocked and nothing goes in...

So what if she loves him?
So what if he knows?
At the end of the day, she's left with no choice but to turn her back against him.
Unless he wakes up one fine day, there will never be a happy ever after for the male and the female...

The morale of the story is : - "half a heart will just not do, now it's all up to you" - Mikaila

Cause everything's gonna be alright...

2008-08-05T09:16:00.003+08:00

I feel I want to back out of everything.
I'm starting to feel that kinda pressure which I'm uncomfortable in.
I should probably just leave myself out.

Take it or leave it... I don't wish to fight myself anymore... It's getting tiring and I can feel the pain inside...

I'm out.

369

2008-08-04T01:27:00.004+08:00

hello my fatty arse, you are the craziest person I have ever met and you almost killed me today. But I think... like that was totally cool man! lol =P

I cant wait for pammy's birthday celeberation!!!!!! =D

Good nights and sweet dreams of me peoples! (:

Accidently in love

2008-08-03T18:38:00.007+08:00

Woohoo! late night bowling last night.!

I am so slacking at home....
OMG I can't believe it... =\

Went to pick mr seah up at pasir ris yesterday...
Thank you for accompanying me even after you're like so tired booking out of tekong.
Headed out to Jalan Kayu..
omg! he lost 8kg! haha K luh ... looks more tonned now.
hahaha and seems like he grew a little more matured from the last time I saw him. =P
Not saying he isn't but yea... more matured. =P
But oh wells.. some things never change. Caught up a little.. chatted..
Sent him home to take his bath...

Jioed that siao eh...
Went to pick up that idiot and three of us headed down to bowl at Hougang bowl.
My long lost and missed training ground. Haha.
Tried changing my new timing to something more comfortable...
I guess it is more comfortable and it has more speed.
Which is a good thing right.. lol
After three games.... it was like....... 130am already....
Went to some 24 hour coffee shop to drink and that idiot ate his noodles. haha
HAIYA!
Should have taken peekchures.
Wah when I drove home. I was half asleep. I think almost killed myself three times while driving home. Cannot drive auto car arh. kao bei.

Ponned class on Thursday... Went out with Samm, Wani and Daryl.
Haha... Seoul Garden Buffet .
We were wacking desserts more than the food luh.
After that........... went to watch league.. and yea.. here are the pictures of the happening day. lol

Haha my bimbs is so cute! =P
Crazy bitch. haha
Them playing word puzzle
KAo bei luh
yummy yummy food? =D

A sneak shot of them making dessert for everyone!
Daryl was talking of some coffin joke and that was the results...
OMG. Is that a creature or is that a human
haha awww.
Asshole

Samm acting cute
myself =D
Mr pinkie ong
My bimbs! =]

Lols
Smile =]
Erms?
My sexay!
Four of us =]]]

Thats it!

2008-08-02T19:31:00.002+08:00

Yay. I am going night bowling later. so cool
At least someone is nice enough to go bowling with me even after a tired week in tekong.

I am going MILO on my own this year.... first and hopefully not the last time...

I feel like giving it up...
Feel like letting it go...
I feel like whatever I do is always and never enough to make any one happy.
Maybe it isn't enough or it isn't good enough.
I should have just stick to having nothing.

I am sad but I dont know the reason why....
No.. I am telling myself that I dont know the reason why but I do.
Because I am not satisfied with any and everything that is happening in my life.

Well at least...congrats for winning the throphy. I'm really happy for you.

I guess im just someone seeking for perfection subconsciouslly all the time.. which in turn it back fires because ... nothing is perfect.

2008-07-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

Just when I thought my eyes has stopped drying up..... it just did. -_-

I'm very hungry..... but there's no food at home....
At the same time.... I don't wana buy the food downstairs because...
1. it sucks...
2. I'm lazy
3. save money

So what do i do when all of the above factors are taken into account?
--> Starve.
Yes thats right...

OMGosh.. I'm crapping .... friggin hungry.... I totally can't can't can't take it anymore.

...

Whatever it is.....
It is confirmed that I will go for MILO. yays
The only issue is.... will be going alone...
Sounds fine but someone told me I should go up with somebody so that I will not be too lost up there....
Shopping there alone sounds like a really great idea luh.
The only thing I am worried about actually is................. I will be alone in the hotel room and I think i will freak out luh.
Sadded. ):

I cant wait for my Storm Shift to arrive... Till then, I think my collection will be completed.
Urms...
1. Spit Fire
2. Street Rod
3. My Pinkae WD! (:
4. Dimmension
5. Shift!

I think it will be a temporary "completed" collection only for now.. i mean soon.

Anyways again... I saw Issac in Vivo today! Like I became the most excited female on earth for a moment... Well, 1- he became cutier... 2- he's still as hilarious.... with his look... 3- he's still with Angel! haha woah... think they should walk down the ile together soon man. haha

And then and then and then......
I need to go back to my stupid proposals which I am sooooo UNWILLING TO DO.
Good bye.

Damn it

2008-07-29T23:25:00.003+08:00

I think I am falling sick.
I am feeling cold for who knows what reasons.
I'm starting to cough..

Tomorrow's a packed packed day.
Breakfast appt
Lunch appt.
Evening... outing (:

Giddy spells.....
Cramps.....
So not happening at all...

My knee is falling apart on me ..and so is my back.... probably my Lats is injured and my C1 to C5 area... I need a doctor!

And my eye still isn't okay... and it has been.... almost 2 months already. I think I need a specialist. haha

I did not say exactly what I wanted to say...
And here's what I wanted to say....
I think I've fallen into it and I am somehow... I don't know how to react to it or what to do...
And.. I don't know if it is a good or if it is a bad thing.

=\

2008-07-29T11:50:00.003+08:00

I'm flowing I'm flowing I'm flowing and I cannot take it.
I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored but I'm suppose to be doing work.
I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired but my eyes are still wide open.
I'm lame I'm lame I'm lame and that's just the way Danica is.

Stay over at Chua CB's place in CCK!

2008-07-29T11:40:00.005+08:00

I found this in gay's LiveJournal.

And that was like a month and 19 days ago.!

The first two pics are my sexy legs

The third and fourth pics are pam's macho legs

And the last two are phy's flabby de kah legs. ;)

Idiotic! haha

I miss my clique! =X

Nothing Really Matters

2008-07-29T00:06:00.002+08:00

Well.. It's been long...
Don't ask me why I'm blogging again.
I just felt like it.. This time round ... at least.
Anyways..
I feel like playing with a netball now.... not spinning it... but throwing it....
Replacing people's heads with my power shots.

Roll off the past weekend was crap...
Not the event, not the equipments, not the people nor the lanes..
Just myself.

I was angry with myself that I don't have confidence with what I was doing.
Boss pulled me one side....
Asked me what was wrong.
I gave the exact same reason I just mentioned.
Pop one stick of lights to me and I was shaking while lighting the stick up.
Dont ask me why...
Probably that same panic attack which happened two years back...
And yea.. back to the topic..
The first thing boss said was.. you are crazy luh. you are bowling fine but why are you still crying.
And I gave the same reason again...
Then he said. haiya.. dont emo luh.. smile one for me..
and i gave that.. -_- face.
And he starts talking cock to me...
Then i flicked the ciggie wanting to return to my game..
But it was like... only half finished...
And boss went: you flick my cigarette like that arh. $ 2.00 lah.. wah lao..
And i smile at him and ran back into the alley.

What the hell is wrong with me.
I think I;m crazy and emotionally unstable..
Right after I went back in... I bowled aa 18.

Oh wells.
So what if I got into the team. I ain't happy because I know I didnt do my best.
And that I was giving myself excuses that the new drilling was giving me problems... well it was.... kinda.

I guess I should leave. I have tonnes of work to do... even when I'm done with FYP. Not like others who are so much less busy.

I get it now.. You kept quiet when i mentioned about it because it DID happen and you are guilty of it. now I am pissed. thank you very much.

2008-01-11T21:53:00.000+08:00

well. happy late new year to all
and a not so good happy new year to me.....

Basically, life... suck.
I just failed my final theory after passing my first.
Damn I shouldnt have even let my final theory cert expire for this past two years.
Imagine... this is how long I have not driven a vehicle. and now I fail it!???
Plain dumbness.

I may be going to kuantan or langkawi right after CNY.

Right now I think I am really sick and tired of bowling.
Less than one more year and I am done with it......
Well... Even though it is kinda wasted with the fact that I have came this far and now I am just giving it up so soon. But yeap. I guess.... baby is right. career and anything else is more important rather than spending money on your passing and not getting money from it.

I am not like the rich and I cannot afford like others do no matter how much I am being sponsored with equipments.

Well... suppose to head down to zouk to meet phy and all sighz.. I just feel like as if I'm a fucking loner bird stuck in its stupid cage.

I just don't understand why he doesnt allow me to do the things that he can do.
he's a selfish person.
stingy person
whatever nots... and seriously, I don't understand till this day... why I still cant put myself to leave him.

Anyways... these are just things which will cause my body heart and mind to exhaust. So why bother brood over mini minor issues like these. make sense at all?

But well... I just feel that I need a life... I need my life.. I NEED A CAR! but... first.... I have to pass my stupid driving test. and I am really hating the idea of going on teck whye routes again.

Whatever it is... FYP topics and supervisors are all confirmed now and it's time to get down to solid research man. Darn I'm fried....
I completely have no idea how much more load of work I have to handle all by myself... When you want to ask for help, the help does not come to meet your expectations and the quality of efficiency does not meet 90% a time. So tell me how isi't even possible at all to be relying on others to be helping you out with even anything?

Alright enougth of my nonsense.. back to research =\
Till later.

2007-12-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

1st day of national selections ....
spirits are low man.
bowled a stupid 14 average...
only a high game of 204.

Fucked up man

Well, as for tomorrow, It is a make it or break it situation.

If I were to go to zouk out to meet baby tonight. then I guess that's where my bowling career will end. Or maybe... its the other way round.... going zoukout tonight will help me bowl better tomorrow...
Oh well...
Well see.

If I'm destinied to go in I will.... But seems not like it...
Pretty sad that I'm feeling that I'm wasting everyone's time and money....
I'm just there because people asked me to.....
Because they see the potential in me...
So what I if I have the natural timing and the psychic of a bowler....
Whats the used when the passion is gone.....

I feel hopeless and the only thing I can wish for now to to go to zoukout and get a couple of drinks. =\

Whatever it is, tomorrow is my favourite kind of oiling... well, at least sort of.... fate will decide tonight wether I will go to zouk out or I will bowl a 200 average tomorrow.

Till then.....
I'm gone.

2007-12-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

Well it's been long since I've blogged. And the only time I blog is when I am bored. Have been really busy lately...

POL-ITE has just passed and the national selections are here...

And I'm glad I'm finally done with my PP Presentation but FYP is here..

I so feel like stepping down from my captaincy post right now...

Feeling so exhausted from everything already.

I need to get a job to keep myself busy and keep myself with as least some savings.

I just pray that everything gets settled sooner or later because I can hardly hold the pressure of handling the team myself any longer.

National Selections is this saturday and sunday [8th & 9th] at 2pm , Mt Faber safra. Anyone free can just drop by to say a hi.... But I guess not when I am bowling. =X

Feeling very down lately and I have no idea why...

Everytime I step home into this room of mine I start feeling low. =\

Why do I feel that I have no aim in life when I do...

Probably not me feeling that I have no aim in life...

Maybe more like I have the mood for giving up on anything because I am feeling too worn out.

Baby's going to malaysia on the 14th then to bangkok on the 16th to the 21st. Sigh. I'm gonna be all alone during this time.... Whats best... He's going to Shanghai in january and I'm going to Brunei in Feburary.

How I wish POL-ITE did not come and I'm still stuck in the days before POL-ITE.somehow, I am much happier staying in Yishun.

Oh well... I guess I'm just too used to life with him and his friends... and whats more... I get pissed off everytime I step into this house and nothing ever good comes out of this family...

I NEED A NEW DIET. MY LIFESTYLE IS CLASHING WITH MY DIET.
Alcohol= ++calories
= carbohydrates [excess--> fats]
=insufficient sleep
=over working of liver = dehydration of body.

Ciggies= Nicotine
= loss of appetite--> weight loss
=unbalanced appetite--> weight gain
= no stamina, bad health = put on weight
= dehydration of skin

Bowling= Energy intake higher than Energy expenditure = excess energy = weight gain

Meat lover= Protein.
-no exercise = Protein not broken down without excercise,
= Excess Protein = fats

In conclusion. Total energy intake is higher that total energy expenditure. Therefore = fat fat fat! =\

Whatever it is... all i know now is that.. I am feeling fucking bored and I miss my baby =\

2007-10-08T14:53:00.000+08:00

Life's pretty happening now...
Drinking sessions once or twice a week, bowling 6 times but 7 trainings a week, school 5 days a week.....

I miss working behind the bar. =\

Dropped by PLAY , Lunar and Barfly for the past two weeks.

My left knee and right shouldr totally hurts.

I'm starting to get thoughts of leaving COE after this three weeks.

It's getting too tiring for me man. And I feel I have too many coaches.
3?
Nah I just consider two out of that three my coach.
Well...that one whom I do not consider is enough to kill me

My goal now is to just bowl well.

Well, I may be thecaptain of the team but YL is right. Captain is just to coordinate stuff, and I am a bowler. I should only care about bowling and only bowling.

No time to go to the GYm =\

oh well, gotta go. COE later. dread. till later

2007-09-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

Well, first day of school...
Not too bad but... I guess it was sort of a bore..
I want to do well this semester..
I have improved 0.6 for my gpa last semester so it was a good progress.

Well... lesson ended say.... 45 mins to 1 hour earlier today.
Don't ask why..
Anyway, went to Vivo after school
Wanted to gym but ended up being a glutten.

Chatted with char for like 2 hours today...
So much had happened lately...
Good and bad...

Well, now that I am a leader especially of so many good friends, I have to be aware of my distance towards them during serious business and outside lanes...
I mean not drift myself away from them because that is the last thing I want to happen to my relationship with my friends...

Sometimes all I need is to confide in someone whom I love the most about how I feel when I start to lose direction of where I am heading but somehow, you just don't understand why I have to do whatever I am doing for a sport for the team...

How I wish you could be a little more supportive of what I am doing and what I want to do, and maybe some level of respect of what I'm doing as well.

You know... I wana be telling you all these so much but I just cant.
I don't have the courage to because I know the blame will turn one whole big round and slap me on the face again.
All I needed to have to do best in this sport is your support, but I'm just not getting it..

There's just too much in my mind that I just feel I need to scream all of them out loud...

I will not rely on anyone else for any thing... I will work hard for myself and with those who are willing to help me to get myself there...
Well, easier said that done..
I just have to keep telling myself that
I just have to keep telling myself that
I just have to keep telling myself that...
There is no one there except myself who will be there for me .

It's bleeding in there and the only one who's able to save it is unaware...
And there's no one else for me to open up to...
no one else...
no one else...

2007-09-03T23:14:00.001+08:00

Here's the joke+happening of the day...
I went down to CDM to hand in my resignation letter....
Hooker Terry up and Terry hooked Stanley the drunkard out to Vivo for lunch
Walked around HF and VIVO for around 20 minutes and settled at LJS for lunch. Food quality was bad..
At LJS.. I pointed to those kids on the animal rides where the kids have to use their maunal strength to push themselves up, down and forward to make whatever animal they are sitting on move...
So I told Terry and Stanley who was still half drunk... "Neh! Look look look! Don't you think they look like as if they are fucking the horses???"
I got fucked big time by Terry.. he scolded me saying that I'm lame and blah blah blah.

After lunch, Stanley the drunk left for his home and a stupid promise I made to Terry - To go back to CDM with him after lunch... totally retarded.

We boarded the tram towards sentosa.. blabling away.. sat down with one girl beside me and one female and two guys opposite the both of us..... talk talk talk laugh laugh laugh and something caught my eye on the floor.
I stared reallllly hard at it because I have never seen it packed vaccumed before..
Scratched my head..
Turn to Terry..
Stared at him... [Thinking if he knew what I was trying to tell him]
He was just like ....usual, ignoring me.. then he suddenly turned to me and said.. yours right?!???
Me: No lor.. WTF like as if I brought any bag along with me..
Terry: I know you want it lor..
Go take lah.. hurry! [Pushing me to the ground]
Me: Retaliating and struggling back to the seat...
Terry and I started giggling and it became soft laughters..
Me:WTF.. I turned to you because I walked in, everything was fine and there was nothing on the floor lor...then suddenly that thing just appear on the floor like that...??
We alighted...

And it started pouring...
We decided to take a tram... Which.. we still ended up wet.
Terry concluded that everytime I step to CDM, I get wet either naturally or by humans...
Both of us were acting so imbecile..
I think it was more of Terry who's the infantile!
I was catching the rain and he was gathering and splashing more at me... pushing me to the corner of the tram so I get the rain and blah blah blah..

Got back to the office..
I told Terry I wanted to change chair to the plastic one
Terry: why leh ..that one comfortable what...
Me: [Started shaking on the chair] I'm not used to this chair.
Terry started laughing like no one's business and
I was like : ??????????????????????/ huh
Terry still laughing said: your action just now... look like those kids you pointed out at Vivo just now
Me: -_- ...OMG and.. [smacked him]

After wacking him.. He told Adrain about the incident in the train...
LaughingOurArseOff, I asked .. I can't believe you know what a tampon looks like... how do you even know that thing on the floor was a tampon man.. I needed a few seconds to register that that is a tampon because of the packaging..
Terry: Said loads of craps about him seeing it before and that can be used to stop nose bleeding and all...

Oh wells. okays. i'm just trying to entertain myself.. so not helping.....feeling lonely... =\
where's my baby!????
Ugh! out!

2007-09-03T21:59:00.001+08:00

I'm like kind of sad right now...
The moment I step to the doorstep of my house.. I found one side of my flora Havanas and another side of my Pazzion closed toe shoes missing..
Thinking it was just my maid keeping one side of it, trying to be creative..
I forgot that she isn't as bright..
Both that pair can add up to like 100++ bucks man..
I find out that fucker who steals my shoes. that idiot's going to the police.
I hate people who takes my things especially people I dont know.

Baby started his new job today...
I'm like glad for him...
He sounds so excited and everything to the extent I don't know if I should be happy??
I mean.. I should be happy for him.. well I'm glad but inside me's feeling kind of sad...
No idea why..
Maybe because he's like enjoying his work so much and there's that level of envy there??
Or maybe because he's having fun while working while I'm rotting at home and I have a new sucky job..
Or maybe.... I'm just worried.. =X
Paranoid bitch.

Oh I've quit CDM peoples.
Kind of sad that today's my unofficial last day eventhough 8th is my last but today's the last time I will be stepping into DelMar for the next three months...
I love my managers and the staff I've worked with. I'll miss Terry & Baillie the most...
I love working there... but.. F&B ... I can't really move on from there...
Well I can..
But I don't want to..
Because it is blocking every single pathway I've opened for myself in the "sports industry"

Well..I've left the JagSport attachment thingy.. I guess I will not have time for MA and... I guess martial arts ain't my thing eventhough I have interest in almost any new sport I haven't tried.

I miss my baby. =\ ...
Staying over at his place for more than a week isn't a good idea...
I'll just start getting too reliant on him when I get back home..
=\
Oh well. I just wanted to accoompany him for his one week of break.
=]]

I think I want to go out for a drink...
Anyone in favour??

Bowling today was disasterous.
Bowled with my spare ball.
Lord save me..
The max it hooked was 4 boards okay! deadly pathetic!
Or if not.. it would be a swing in which brings the stupid ball al the way to pin 7. hmpf!
Well I'm glad I went down to Marina south to collect my red zone just now..
Roll off is saved tomorrow =]]
The new span is good.
REALLY comfortable.
I hope this span will be perfect for me so that I can start to get my Storm- Secret Agent!

Oh wells.. I'm still sad sad sad.. =\
Feeling a little lost now.. -_-
Alrights.. till later I guess.

2007-08-25T01:55:00.000+08:00

Just for shuyu sexy's info...

My baby got me this... !

Love it though.. it's the one on top. ;)

2007-08-20T10:57:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me ee
happy birthday to me.
-_-

And I so happen to feel like crap.

Baby is just so damn ....
Haiz..
What he think I want isn't what I want....
=\

Oh wells...
Yesterday was not too bad..
Watched 881
Crappy but funny show..
=P

Oh wells...
Back to work =]

2007-08-19T12:37:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for later on..
Blueberry, Aloy, Baby and I are going to catch a show at Vivo..
The Classic seats one...
Like the one for 35 bucks ticket kinda seats...

Just wondering what show we're going to watch..

The bruise from Toey's bite is killing me...
-_-

Anyways......

COE tomorrow..
On my birthday -_-
Man...
Sighs.

nvm...
Looking forward to training. =]

Alright I gota go...

Sexy..
I hope you're feeling much better...
Please look up for me if you ever needsomeone alright?
XOXO

=]

2007-08-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

I love him

Alan the fucker. haha

The Caucasians wanted to take a pic with all of us.......
The bar slut doing her job =P
THE WASTED! haha
Bestties!

!

Vain POt!

Birthday cake =]]

Baby you rock =]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY!!!!!!

I love you and you know that.

SMILE always k?

Hang over man...

a very very satisfying dinner..

2 btls of vladivar

1 btl of taittinger brut

1 btl for moet brut [sooo much nicer than taittinger]

martinis after martinis

1 dozen of SOB

2 waterfalls...

that was totally enough to kill...

imagine the poor shuyu and especially besttie who doesnt drink that often..

I was SOBER but partially drunk.

Maysi was...... just 10% away from total wasted case

Anyways...

Thanks for the presents

and

Thank you every one for being a sport.

Ok so here's how the night went.

We had our dinner,

me maysi shuyu cheryl limin yings and toey.

Food was really really good!

Cant deny that fact man....

Money worth spending for.

After that... we shifted to the booth seats...

The seatings and the layout of the place totally changed man..

hmmx

Yup then started the drinking session.

The rest of the invited started to flow in.

Was glad everyone turned up =]

drinkdrink drink..

Besttie got almost wasted.

Shuyu started grinding and pole dancing =X

Everyone started becoming crazy and I started stoning..

Baby treated us to some champagnes =P

And the best thing which actually happened last night was when he dedicated a birthday song to me with the live band.

I was really touched =]

Then we cut the birthday cake.. thankyou sexy!

I didnt eat much though.. only two to three bites..

I couldnt eat cause I was feeling shitty already
But the cake was good =]

Nora actually came running to me telling me that she thinks two of my friends are puking in the ladies
I ran in....
saw maysi and cheryl in one cubicle. lol

Everyone left..

Then I went to the VIP room to sit and stone..

Waited for baby and then left the beautiful place

I left my beautiful phone in the vip room too

I totally panicked when I woke up today man.. =X

Headed down to GWC early afternoon

SORRY I DIDNT TURN UP FOR TRAINING

And very sorry to my dearest Marco =X

Missed you.

Had Jack's place... with the family..

Dana's hair is cute now...

But Toey says it's ugly...

Oh well.

Food sucked..

Who cares..

They left and it was Toey and I that's left shopping around...

Me. still carrying the almost dead rose around everywhere..

I feel bad I didnt take care of it properly...

Too "sober" to keep it alive...

slacked at TCC with Toez.

Then headed to BArfly to collect my precious phone =P

Walked around in Central.

Then headed home...

Tomorrow..

Baby asked me out... with Elle and Bar Aloy..

Small celeberation again =]

Oh well..

Whatever itis..

Last night was a memoriable one..

spelling.. i know..

Thankew toey for being here

Thankew everyone for making last night happen =]]]]]

Baby.. thank you for making it happen for me. i love you =]

2007-08-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

COE training went pretty well today.
Liked the fact that "there wasnt mistakes but only corrections"

So damn tired man...

Woke up damn early for the workshop meeting.
It was progressive.
Did some hypnotherapy hands on today.
Pretty cool.

Went to library to do some reading up. Bumped into eugene.
Then vic came along and joined.
Slacked until samson came.
doughnuts!
from doughnut factory.
Very nice
But also very fattening.

Headeddown to training with vic YL, suerin, Jon, Sam and Geraldine...
Training was good.
=]]]]]
alright.. too tired
cant wait to see everyone on friday
chao.

2007-08-13T15:16:00.000+08:00

COE's starting today and I cant wait.. =]

Well, my mood's pretty bad now..
Sometimes, people just don't consider about the factors taken into a situation. The restrictions, the constraints. Maybe it isn't all about all of that. It is all about being persons of words.

YOu say something, don't change it. Mean what you've said previously..

This is what I hate the most..
It is never about money, never about favouritisms and biasness, and never ever about hating someone.
It has always been about meaning what you say.

I just hate people who does things like that.
It seriously spoils my fucking day and ugh ! I just fucking hate it.
Especially when it comes to people who are closer to me, people who are the ones whom I know better.
I just don't understand why this has to be the case all the time.

Whatever it is... it doesnt pay to be nice.. it doesnt pay to be accomodating.. it fucking doesn't pay to be flexible. People just climb over your head and kick you behind your back or even infront of you.

YOu give others something, they ask for something else. YOu then accomodate to that something else and they ask for more.

Nothing is ever enough.. never enough.

2007-08-10T11:26:00.000+08:00

Beer's the way to stay ale 'n' hearty
Drunk in moderation, it has many health benefits

Dr Thomas Stuttaford

Beer drinkers from all over Europe met recently in Brussels to discuss the medical advantages of drinking beer, a beverage praised over the years by artists and writers but rarely by scientists. As a result, those who enjoy a pint at the Adam and Eve from time to time are not always aware that beer, taken in moderation, has the same advantages as other drinks plus one or two of its own.

Beer contains antioxidants, so the beneficial effects of drinking on the cardiovascular system are not confined to wine.

Chaucer, Housman, Shakespeare, Dickens, Brendan Behan and Dylan Thomas have all praised beer in their writings, and Samuel Johnson even ran a brewery for a time, but their high regard for beer was not so much for its good effect on the physique as for its influence on their psyche and on the community in which they lived.

Unlike those literary figures, the scientists who met in Brussels under the chairmanship of Professor Jonathan Powell, of the Medical Research Council human nutrition unit in Cambridge, were largely concerned with the influence of beer on human health.

Professor Powell said that the media and the public had tended to focus on the advantages of wine drinking in moderation. In his opinion there is increasing evidence that the benefits of moderate drinking are more related to the alcohol, whatever the nature of the drink, than to a particular beverage. Beer also contains nutrients and other properties that encourage good health.

In a controlled study in Germany, it was found that people who drank beer in moderation were less likely to develop coronary heart disease than those who drank other drinks.

Not only did the beer drinkers have better protection from heart attacks, but there was supporting evidence for beer’s cardio-protective effect and for its help in altering the ratio of beneficial high-density lipoprotein cholesterol to the pernicious low-density cholesterol.

There were also beneficial changes to the platelets — particles in the blood involved in clotting — and in the amount of fibrinogen, another factor in clotting, present in the blood.

As the average beer is only a third of the strength of the average wine, the ease with which people can drink too much is less. There may be other characteristics in the lifestyle of the beer-drinking fraternity that are difficult to measure but may contribute to the apparent benefits of beer drinking.

Earlier work among beer drinkers in the Czech Republic found that those men with the lowest risk of having a heart attack drank between seven and 15 pints a week. Another study, from Australia, investigated the drinking habits of 3,000 people in their seventies over the previous ten years and found that those who drank one or two beers a day had a 20 per cent lower risk of dying of heart disease than those who were teetotal or drank to excess.

What is more, the advantages of moderate beer drinking are not confined to the heart. Danish research has revealed that beer drinkers suffer less frequently from kidney stones, and it is now becoming accepted that drinking beer in moderation reduces the incidence of diabetes and osteoporosis, although drinking to excess may increase the risk of both.

Beer drinkers are convinced that their tipple’s wholesome ingredients, including malted barley, hops and yeast, contribute to a healthy balanced diet. Beer is rich in many vitamins of the B group and in such trace elements as magnesium but is low in both iron and calcium.

Beer drinking in moderation is not even responsible for a large belly: glass for glass, beer is less fattening than apple juice, milk or yoghurt.

2007-08-10T02:01:00.000+08:00

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

I think my youngest sis is a *******!!!

Woohoo! I'm proud of it.

Yea right..

This is jut the start of me freaking out

Woohoooooo..

Okays...

I think i gotta chill.. =P

Okays I'm still feeling a little unstable.. =P

Worked today..

for three hours...

1 hour talking to terry

1/2 hr break

1/2 hour crapping with fuzz

1 hour packing store

Then I left! =P

Went to shop at vivo. =]

Bought a top I think I love it so so much.

I'm gonna be wearing it on the 17th of Aug =]

Will be having a celeberation with roy, geoff, wyann and etc. Barfly people and some others I think most probably at Sentosa coasta sands..... this sunday.

Then next Thursday all the way till Sunday I'll be celeberating my birthday man =P

Just wana have fun and not think of any troubles this whole week man =]

Sprained my ankle..

And I don't know when it happened. -_-

Today was pretty much a good day...

Baby bought me a watch for my birthday.. =]

And it cost more than his mont blanc wallet.

BUT

there was a discount.. I was saying to him that he's damn cheapo. =P

But of course... it's always the thought that counts..

It doesnt matter how much...

I like can already =]]]

I cant wait for next monday too!

COE trianing is starting on the 13th...

So it also means training steps up to at least 4 to 5 times a week =\

But I still do hope I get the time to spend for myself and also with baby. =]

Anyways...

School tomorroW!

Dreading for it...

Shall force myself to bed soon.!

ciaoz!

2007-08-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Why does my home have nothing else but junk food.. hmpf. =\
I'm home alone!
Yay -_-

I just realised something not too long ago...

Here's it in pin yin..
Ren zai Del Mar, Xin zai Barfly.. =S

Really miss working at Barfly man..
I've only worked at CDM for like.... a little more than 3 months and I already have the thoughts of quitting. -_-''

I'm totally dreading for work this week man....
I've gotta work four days straight.
I think I wana look for a new job that doesn't involve the F & B industry...

I guess I need something that is related to what I am doing right now..
ANY JOB RECOMMENDATIONS!?!?!?
And what's the best thing????
I wana work at vivo... -_-
not much of anything to work as I feel.

Speaking bout that.. I just had some great ideas.. I just called up Sky Fitness and I will be going for an interview at 4pm later! I hope I get the job though... =X

OkaysI should get ready now... tatas

2007-08-07T15:37:00.000+08:00

I think I will be having a massive celebeation this year for my birthday man.....

WIll be having a celeberation at sentosa on the 12th, 17th, 18th and 19th...
I hope 12th will be fun man... Looking forward to it.. =P

Anyways.COE training is gonna start soon and I'm looking forward to it.. =D

Working hours is gonna be damn long this week too man.

Baby's switching job soon and I'm proud of him! =P

Alright. got UT to take now......till later

2007-08-03T12:04:00.000+08:00

Why do I always get bad feelings about everything.....
I've got a bad feeling 17th of Aug won't turn out as fun as I expected because of people leaving early and not being able to make it......
Oh well whatever it is.. it is up to them... I shall not bother much cause I know I've already done my best to accomodate with everyone and I'm sick and tired of accomodating to every single thing...
I should have just stick to my original plan of not wanting any celebration for this year and instead of wasting my money on stupid celeberations, spend more money on things that's more important in my life..

I don't even understand why the fact that because of shielding my friends, I have to quarrel with him. Was it even worth it quarreling with him before my stupid league just because he categorize all my friends under one tree.....?

Yea I guess it was. Though he has always been my priority, my friends are such that no one should insult or discriminate....

Well. Bowling yesterday was... great.... not exactly great great that kinda great but it's because I won that tango guy 2 outta 3 games.. =D
I bowled a 140+,120+,200+. And he bowled a 130+,150+ and 180+
And on my last shot, he was trying to intimidate me by saying "ive won" in chinese to me... How much sportsmanship do people like him have these days man.
Well of course I won him at my last shot. I hit a 9 pin and he hit a 3 or 4 pin?? haha
Well. RP team 2 won one of the strongest opponents in the league..
Good job man!
Especially the retarded Jon...and his opponent.. lol
His opponent won him 2 games but jon won him at their last game... Was really proud of him though.. =]

Anyways... I'm off to.. I don't know where.. to study for my beverage test later... Haven't been feeling too good that's why didn't go to school. =x

2007-08-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

You're a fucking MCP
and I hate the way you are
Not all my friends are like yours and my friends are not what you think
thanks for making my day...
fucker

2007-07-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

I officially declare I am the saddest and most unsatisfied female right now.
I lost one side of my most precious earring. And it's the side of the star one...
Bowling sucked...
Fuckin thumb looks like some bark from the tree.
I CANT WAIT FOR COE TO START!!!!!
Fucking school's training.... -_-

Argh.... where is that earring of mineeeee??? =\

I've stopped smoking for like only four days and I'm recieving the wonders of its withdrawal symptoms...
It is so not a good thing to recieve such treatments man.
My temper is hotter and shorter than ever
My mood swings are horrendous
I'm blaming myself for every single thing.
I'm suffering from change of appetite... constipation, migraine and etc.....
Ugh!
I'm basically just a pissed person -_-

Probably it is not all about the cigarettes. I'm just putting whatever blame I can on the sticks

I finally passed my Psychology UT 3 with a C+ .. I think that was the only thing which was making my day today man.. I was screaming for joy.

I just feel like I am overwhelmed with tiredness.
Mentally and Physically...
I dont know how much more mental and physical stress I've got to withstand man..

And shopping is so so so not the way out..
Everytime I feel shitty, I buy an item... I'm almost broke already

What's the issue which I am most unsatisfied with now?
Is the fact that MANY humans of the other gender cannot keep to their words and promises, and.... they don't know how to put their words into action...
I should start to stop putting anyone else before myself and it is necessary to be selfish ..
So easy to say but so hard to do.. My nature is always putting others in front of me.. When I put myself first before others most of the time, I feel awkard.

Someone just tell me how I can change this nature about myself...
It seriously suck to not be loving myself more and enough...

Also it doesn't pay to be nice and caring at times...You care for someone's bad eating habits and lifestyle and also their body and you get shot back at.. It beomes your fault... Where is justice these days man.

My elbow hurts, knee hurts. Stupid cloth caused friction to my fingers and hand.. The outer layer of the skin is like almost gone... Stupid drill.....

I think I need to go out for a drink or something. It has been ages since I've gone drinking and I think I seriously need it right now. I need to get out ant inhale some polluted air....

AND someone give some suggestions how I should celeberate my birthday with different groups of people???? its like only..... a month left to my birthday... =X

*Eventhough you never ever did prove to me that you do...
I feel lost without you by my side

Everything that's happening now isn't how I want them to be...
You just had to make situations so hard to assess

2007-07-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

Zorya and Danica
These names mean simply Dawn and Daystar, but in folklore accounts of all Slavic nations, they are often described as persons, or associated with persons, in pretty much the same way as Sun and Moon. Danica is often called Sun's younger sister or daughter, and was probably associated with Morana. Consequently, Zorya was either Sun's mother or older sister. It is quite possible this was a Slavic relic of the Proto-Indo-European dawn goddess Hausos, but further research into the matter will be necessary before more can be said of these deities.

=]]]

2007-07-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

I was watching the show, The Fountain last night...
I watched halfway and I fell asleep.
I was just too... in depth.....
But after much research...Understood a little more about the story... lol
Its about This guy who's trying to find a heal for brain tumor for his wife.
But somehow he related his story to The Garden od Eden, The Dying Star and Xilbalba...
After finding the info of the show, its pretty much interesting =]
Its like.. the lead actor is Adam and his wife is Eve who's suppose to be watching over the Garden of Eden for God.. Hmmx.. right.. =P
The Lead actor in order to find the cure which is from the Tree of life in the Garden of Eden, went to this ancient place where the Mayas once lived to look for the cure. The actual place was in Mexico ....
But the lead actor was always always watching over the Tree of Knowledge of the Good and the Bad...
He and his wife talks about the dying star which will reborn when it burst. that part im not too sure but yea...
Alright.. its retarded.. lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden_of_Eden
http://www.spitzer.caltech.edu/Media/releases/ssc2004-13/release.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xibalba

Whatever it is, i think it takes really alot of patience to get the story line man... Gonne be finishing up the show tonight =]

2007-07-22T02:11:00.000+08:00

Alright.. enough of venting my thoughts just now...

Changed my template.... love it.. =P

Anyways..

Have been home lately...

Trying to work hard...

As in study..

Ain't working this week cause I sprained my ankle..

And as usual.. my bf doesn't really bother =]

Oh wells...

Happenings this week =]

I forgot what happened on Monday...

Tues was training.. Without Charlynn and a few more of them =\

Wednesday.....I forgot what I did too...

Thursday... Had Physical training... After that.. Got dragged to the sports hall by YL and Vic to see girls -_-

Jay came and bumped into gay! =]]]

Taped Jay's knee.. Shes still as weak...

Gay's a happy girl again now.. I guess =]

LEft for dinner at CWP with YL, his cousin also YL but the female version. hehe and Small Boy ..

He was my bf for the day because he wanted me to follow him watch netball matches that very day... Hah

Friday...Met Sexy, Besttie and Cheryl! =]]]

Bought another pair of havanas and a Mango top.. =]]

Saturday... I stayed home the whole damn day... -_-

Today... If I dont go out... I am going to go crazy man...

Dad asked me how I want to celeberate my birthday this year.. He asked if I wanted a party.. and I said no... when I wanted it so badly.. -_- Then he asked what I wanted for a present and I said dont know when I wanted everything..

Cause basically... it's been so long since the two of us communicated for awhile and I just don't know what to expect of him right now...

Oh well... A quiet birthday that is... It's a Monday anyways... and there will be COE training till 7pm -_- How nice... training on my special day =\

I should be taking over AL's position, over the team when the old committee steps down.. Only waiting for the confirmation... And I'm feeling the pressure already.. =X Oh wells. Like I told her.. It isn't about who will do a better job as a captain. Its about helping the team up since the team has been helped to pull down so so badly. I know AL did her best. =]

Changed my working schedule starting form next week..

Fri 7pm to 3am

Sat 6pm to 3am

Sun 12pm to 6pm

Reasonable timing I guess... After crapping so much with Terry on the phone. That idiot. Haha..

...

...

Can't sleep.. =\

Everyone else is sleepingwhen I feel like going out for a drink right now =X

MAybe I should work on my PP now and I will fall asleep quicker. =]

Outta here!

I love..

my besttie & sexy! =]]

baby..i feel we've drifted... =\

2007-07-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

I feel so empty inside..
Feels like as if.. whatever I've done isn't worth a single cent..
Whatever I have done to salvage that paticular thing, isnt working out the way I want it to be...
Why are they all the same..
It feels like empty promises are kept for me from them...
Why doesn't anyone ever appreciate the effort I put in to make a difference.. for the better

Why does everything wrong have to happen at the same time...

I can't stand whatever I am facing anymore..
I'm running away from reality..
I need to break away from all these crap

I hate people who have no courage to face up to reality.

I need a brainwash.
Empty my brain
Then stab me at the heart.

How meaningless can anything else get man..
Sheesh
I wonder...

Everything just ain't going right..
Every single fuckin thing is screwed up
So screwed..
FuckinCrap.

2007-07-13T11:12:00.000+08:00

Life has never been better...

Yea right.

Crap

Life's more screwed than ever...

Bowling's screwed up... at least my average yesterday wasn't as bad for the past week.

129, 139, 171

Work's fine

School's a little screwed but i think it should be fine if I keep turning up for school

Didnt get a good night sleep last night.

........
Crazy thing did... Went to Johann today.... bumped into him...
Fate i guess?
Now knowing so much shit that's gonna happen...
I hate myself even more than ever.....

Feel like giving up work but whose gonna supply me with money man

Tired.. guess I am going to turn it....
Till later...

Happy birthday Eden =]

2007-07-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

Never felt so.. lost for that long long time...
Everything's just going wrong...

Well on the other hand.. Went to O bar and had quite some fun with Steph and Jansen. Gotta thank them for making my night anyways. I suck at 5-10 and JAnsen sucked at dice... lol

dropped by Bayfly for less than an hour... Played 5-10 again....
Went home and fell flat on my bed...
Thats the prove for why I have been falling asleep in class this week.
Training, Study, Training, Training, Training.... Failing UTs... Studying Training, Drinking working, working...
How tiring can my life get...
Aug 13 and on, 3/4 my life involves bowling... I will practically bowl 4 times a week, work two times week . Physical training once a week, hoping to step it up...
Drinking.. trying to cut it down... and studying four times a week..
How great
=]

Working at the beach isnt too bad too...
Terry's treating me really well which that's something I am glad about..
People are usually more happy go lucky...
Definitely there will be trouble at work but... oh wells.. look on the brighter side I guess...
=]
Gotta head for work...
Till later...

2007-06-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a run with toey... ran about half an hour and back to our void to do some stretches and we sat down and chat.
In fact, we chatted the whole time from the start of our warm up till I sent her home...

Did I mention I spotted a new 0.5 mm mole on my right arm??? Exactly above my biceps.. =P
How did it even mature in the first place???? =\ sadded

I conclude... life is an experience..... a story which we create for ourselves along with the others...
Many still don't know what exactly they want in life now and I know I dont...
It is true that I grew out of the other Dan I once was... I'm still Danica but I'm completely different.
Seen more, been through more and experienced more... People who stepped in and out and those who still stayed created the changes in my life...
I have seen more and I feel I am one level higher in terms of maturity level within the people my age or even younger...
It aint ego... it is just the feeling which is different... perceptions, thoughts, actions and the decisions...
But Ihave to agree with baby...
I havent seen enough and I may never know.... everything will change in years to come..
And this is what I am afraid of..
Of course there are certain things in life which I want to change and move on to something even better quickly.... but... there are just a couple of things I don't want to have it changed...
Somehow, feelings are strong and... they seem very positively that they will be gone one day....
I cannot let it happen..
If only I knew how to salvage it...
If only perceptions will be set forever for both sides
Everything will be great......

2007-06-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

I conclude, the word to use to describe my life right now is...... blank
I have a beautiful room but I hate to come back home
It's been like 1 and a half week since I've came home...
Well, today's the first...

Having thoughts of leaving my new sport... Bowling, that is...
Having the thought of leaving school.
It's no difference from wanting to give up my whole life.. =\

Oh wells........
Bowling seriously sucked....
my fabulous coach is just making my life even easier to live by...
I'm should be getting a new dull ball anytime soon anyways...

Things are kinda screwed up lately...
Alright ..should stop here now... no mood =\

2007-06-26T13:56:00.000+08:00

School's boring
Bowling suck like ugh...
I just want SOE training to start soon

Two straight days of hang over is so not helping at all either,....
Whats the worst thing.. it isnt hard liquor.. its beer -_-

I wana get outta school, graduate outta this campus filled with imbecile mcp and fcps...
No one isnt childish in their own ways and I have to agree with the people I have been talking to that people my age havent seen the world yet.. they speak with ignorance...
assumptions.....with the hint of ignorance => ... egos raising high, playing words with fire...
Dont know what else I can say but I don't think I can tolerate more gullible and naive..... whatevernots around me soon...

2007-06-14T20:00:00.000+08:00

I just dont understand how you can act as if nothing has happened with a blink of an eye...

2007-06-14T19:22:00.000+08:00

I havent stop blogging.. Though it's been awhile since I've entered a new entry.. deleted the previous ones though.... Start aneW?? =] *crosses fingers*

recent 10 happenings...
numberone... i think my family has given up hope on me cause 80% the time I am not home...and almost everyone is ignoring me... =\

numbertwo... i got selected by Singapore Bowling Federation to undergo the Centre of Excellence programme

numberthree... miss phy chua is back in SG but she didnt call me -_-

numberfour... i love my baby but we just quarreled..

numberfive... char and i didnt get selected to bowl for the colligate or how everyouspellthat league... dont know wtf mr coach is doing... bastard i seriously think it is time for a change of new systems... *shakes head*

numbersix... i have been very irritated lately because i owe the bank almost a 1000 bucks at unwilling spendings.. *grumbles*

numberseven... i sprained my ankle while quarreling with baby today... =\

numbereight... i am working at Cafe Del Mar --- Jacuzzi bar... and baby is still not getting over the fact that i am working there...... -_-

numbernine... i think baby is being too paranoid

numberten... i think i had enough...

*you said you have said those words because you care.. but all i feel is the hurt...